Category Archives: Writing

Eliminating So

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For a while now, I have recognized that I start every second sentence or so with “so”. Rather ridiculous to think I am a fairly good writer when I cannot even start my sentences with a more meaningful word than “so”, no?!

Well (that’s not so!), I think it is because I do not think I have very much to say. And in fact, I do not have very much to say. Between motherhood, self-employment, life-building, and crafting, my mind goes to wander off into its own world and when I get to sit down to write about the (more or less) crazy thoughts, they’re usually gone.

In an attempt to write more elaborately about the thoughts I have on a daily basis, I will have to create a writing space. Not a physical space, I have that now that I bought an 18€ desk at Ikea a few weeks back. But a space in my mind and schedule that will allow me to write without starting my sentences with “so”.

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Dear Universe… love, me.

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Yoga, yoga, yoga. I need to do my yoga. Instead, I write.

Sensefree messages to strangers I will never meet, senseful, excited messages to one I do hope to meet soon.

I actually am getting a bit nervous and excited. Could it be that this man is my male counterpart?

Here are two letters to the universe – one if he is, one if he’s not.

Dear Universe,

Thank you for granting my Christmas wish. Thank you for starting this year off with some love that I have needed so much. Thank you for making me believe again and helping find that spirit I lost you know when.

He is truly amazing. Not in a sense that I would put him on a pedestal and worship him, but in the sense that I did not think or believe or even dare to wish that there was another person like me, even more nearby me!

You actually messed up my theory on life a bit because you have just proven that (part of) my justification of traveling and living abroad is untrue. No, I am not in the least mad at you for that. Thank you for pointing out my mistake though.

Love and light,
Maria

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Dear Universe,

You fooled me. You truly did. Was that some kind of early April fool’s prank?

I mean, you made this man sound so very fantastic. You did, don’t you dare putting that on him. He can’t help but live what you decided to be his purpose.

But, also thank you. Thank you for letting me know that my life theories are as true as I will ever be able to prove. Thank you for reminding me that I am a kick-ass woman who still is willing to hope for AND able to love.

Also, please do realize that my engagement in this search for truth and all that will intensify now that you pulled this one. That is probably just what you were hoping to achieve, so I give in and do what I should.

Love and light (even though I am kind of mad),
Maria

I am not sure whether I will update which letter I will send in the end, but they both seem pretty positive to me, so I think it doesn’t really matter.

Resolution 1 for 2012:

Be the positive self you know you can be. (Check.)

Where do we go from here?

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Well, here I am again, sitting in front of a screen (tiny one today), tying to figure out what to do with this blog.

In November, I didn’t do much of anything that could and would have kept me sane: reading, writing, yoga, swimming. I could now give a number of excuses as to why I didn’t, but I won’t insult your mind like that today.

No, today will be a fresh start. It will be the day I will commit to finding myself again and finding out more about who I am. Actually, I will just make a commitment that, a year from now, I will be a happier, more fulfilled, smarter, richer version of who I am today.

And why wouldn’t I? Why wouldn’t you? Go ahead, create a list of things you want to be a year from now and start the journey. I will and if you would like me to go a part of the way with you, I will. Just email me at freidenkerin@live.com if you would like to connect. 🙂

So, here’s what I’m gonna do with this blog: I’ll write. When and what I want, feel like, or think of in that very moment. I’ll give you an insight of what is going on.

Just like Voltaire said: “All styles of writing are good except the tiresome kind.”

What makes a writer?

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Ya know, once you get out of the habit of writing for a few days, it is REALLY tough getting back into it. Especially if you have a babe keeping tabs of every step you take which leaves you deadly exhausted by the end of the day. Actually, I don’t recall too many nights this month that I haven’t gone to bed with her.

Well, maybe three. One of them was Thursday when I got to go out like a grown-up(!), one is right now because I cannot fall asleep, and one was Wednesday when I couldn’t sleep either.

So, now I am looking at all these drafts I saved over the past three weeks and don’t know a single word I wanted to write. See, I thought about writing. It didn’t just completely disappear off the pin board in my head with all its imaginary post-its, notes, pictures, reminders, and quotes on it. Sometimes, I have to add a really big one that says writing, but still I manage to ignore the very big glowing, with glitter flowing note that says “WRITE!” After all, the pin board in my head is rather colorful and if I choose to not focus on it, all the stuff on there just turns into a wonderful colorful cloud of yum – the enjoyment of life. BTW, one note also says “Do yoga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, but until I figure out whether momma and babe yoga will be for me, I think I will keep ignoring it. Check out this blog to see what I mean.

So, am I a writer even though I tend to totally stop and then pick up again? What is it that defines someone being a writer? The idea for this blog post was inspired by two other blogs: zee zahava and Inspiration Location. Both these blogs have caused tumultuous days for my brain battling with the question whether I would ever write like these two wonderful women and if they are writers – and of course if I am. The quest for a definition or even a rough sketch of who a writer is started.

Now, I have come to the conclusion that a writer is someone who, like me (yay!), cannot stop writing. Just like Kath writes in this post, you will keep going. You may put down the pen or close the notebook for weeks, months, or years at a time, but eventually you will pick it up again. And the reason for that kind of behavior lies in a passion for symbols, I believe. It is the fun that you have when combining symbols (words) into a meaning, melting together, sitting on your computer screen or stuck on paper in black ink, seeing how the meaning bursts out of the screen or off the page and into the reader’s arms, when you imagine the reaction of confusion, understanding, or amusement that comes with reading the lines you put together so carefully.

And that is what makes a writer.