Ya know, once you get out of the habit of writing for a few days, it is REALLY tough getting back into it. Especially if you have a babe keeping tabs of every step you take which leaves you deadly exhausted by the end of the day. Actually, I don’t recall too many nights this month that I haven’t gone to bed with her.
Well, maybe three. One of them was Thursday when I got to go out like a grown-up(!), one is right now because I cannot fall asleep, and one was Wednesday when I couldn’t sleep either.
So, now I am looking at all these drafts I saved over the past three weeks and don’t know a single word I wanted to write. See, I thought about writing. It didn’t just completely disappear off the pin board in my head with all its imaginary post-its, notes, pictures, reminders, and quotes on it. Sometimes, I have to add a really big one that says writing, but still I manage to ignore the very big glowing, with glitter flowing note that says “WRITE!” After all, the pin board in my head is rather colorful and if I choose to not focus on it, all the stuff on there just turns into a wonderful colorful cloud of yum – the enjoyment of life. BTW, one note also says “Do yoga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, but until I figure out whether momma and babe yoga will be for me, I think I will keep ignoring it. Check out this blog to see what I mean.
So, am I a writer even though I tend to totally stop and then pick up again? What is it that defines someone being a writer? The idea for this blog post was inspired by two other blogs: zee zahava and Inspiration Location. Both these blogs have caused tumultuous days for my brain battling with the question whether I would ever write like these two wonderful women and if they are writers – and of course if I am. The quest for a definition or even a rough sketch of who a writer is started.
Now, I have come to the conclusion that a writer is someone who, like me (yay!), cannot stop writing. Just like Kath writes in this post, you will keep going. You may put down the pen or close the notebook for weeks, months, or years at a time, but eventually you will pick it up again. And the reason for that kind of behavior lies in a passion for symbols, I believe. It is the fun that you have when combining symbols (words) into a meaning, melting together, sitting on your computer screen or stuck on paper in black ink, seeing how the meaning bursts out of the screen or off the page and into the reader’s arms, when you imagine the reaction of confusion, understanding, or amusement that comes with reading the lines you put together so carefully.
And that is what makes a writer.