Today, I went shopping. For Lily. Not for me because I have no urge whatsoever to do so. I shopped for Lily. After I had all the stuff I could find for her at H&M, I decided to look for something for me. Some inspiration. Well, I found that I really am at a loss as to who I am – in my closet and my heart. It doesn’t mean that I dread being a mother or anything like that, I just now realize that I have to redefine, so-to-speak reinvent myself.
I love that! I mean, who gets to find themselves all over, redefine who they are, what they do, where they live, what is important to them? I realized that lately I just love to wear skirts which is something I never liked because I didn’t like my legs. Well, not that the looks of my legs suddenly are much less important. But wearing skirts is really awesome. So, here’s my project for the rest of this year: Find who I am, what my life is and how to live that together with the wonderful baby, friends, and family I have.
So, back to the fashion issue. In the past years, I have had lived a very individual style that ranges from sporty to classic. Now, fashion trends are just so out of line that there is no way I will ever be able to find something in stores like H&M at the moment. The 80s made great music, but they’re just not cutting it as fashion era. It seems like boot-cut jeans are TOTALLY out of style which makes it hard to shop for pants. Leggings are not something I wear apart from underneath my pants in winter. And the last time I wore something layered was on a vacation in Portugal in 1995 or so.
Now, where to shop if not at fabulous H&M which has sponsored at least one piece of my outfits over the past ten years or so? Still does if I am wearing socks these days. Well, the United States had some wonderful alternatives – TJ Maxx, Marshalls, etc. Well, in Germany the idea of selling overstock at a lower price isn’t really getting around this fast, but wonder: TKMaxx a.k.a. TJ Maxx exists! Sweetness. So, one of my next trips will be to Erfurt to find some clothes. I sure need them. Pregnancy hormones caused some serious illness of judgment last summer…
So, hoping I will find some clothes, I now have to solve the mystery of what do I do best and right? What makes me happy and where do I want to live?
Currently, the plan is to find work opportunities first and then pick a location out of the job / self-employment options. The plan is to move by next April or May. What entails a position that would make a mother of one with a love for international people and travel, different cultures and languages happy? Tough question to answer. Best would be self-employment I think because as my own boss, it would be much easier to figure out how to take Lily or when to go on trips.
Well, LinkedIn distracted me and made me get some motivation. But, tiredness is getting onto me now which means the pursuit of finding the new (and maybe old) me will have to wait until tomorrow.