While looking for a draft I wrote a few days ago, I found this from February 2010:
A couple of days ago, my life was out of balance. I realized that I was diving too deep and still had my mouth open. Today, the world looks different. What happened? How did the change come about? The answer should be easy to find.
It is most loved and hated. We need it, yet we do not have an inexhaustible amount of it. Which leads to problems for which to solve we need time. It’s a never-ending spiral.
Thinking about time just reminded me of a book I read as a teenager. Momo by Michael Ende. He is the guy who wrote The Neverending Story. Momo is a fantastic novel that discusses the realms of time and space and how we make use of it. Or not.
It is interesting to me how some things always come up again and again. I find that the more I forget about taking time for myself, my sanity, my happiness, the more I feel pushed into a corner. A few days ago, I had a very bad one. I was all cornered up by everything going on in my life. I had been spending my days only with my baby and even though I appreciate and cherish every second I am with her and miss her instantly when I am not, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. So at some point, I was so close to tears that I had to just hand her to my mum and have her take care of the babe while I took some time for myself.
It was then when the universe had this blog post turn up on my news feed on facebook. I read it and instantly knew that this was exactly what I needed right then. So, I used the few hours I had not to go outside and sit in the dark on some bench probably crying to release stress, but to turn the negative energy I had in me into positive energy by reconnecting with friends, doing yoga, and just sitting back reading what interests me with full concentration (not one ear with Lily).
I really like the picture I used above of diving too deep with my mouth still open. It truly feels like this sometimes, you dive deep into life, but because you are astounded by all it has to offer, you forget to shut your mouth, concentrate on yourself, and breathe. Fastly, you then feel like you can’t breathe anymore and by then you are close to losing sanity. In those moments, stop for a minute, think about what you can quickly change in this moment and take a timeout. Let the grey men have your time – in the end, you will have much more saved in your pocket.